Corporate Lingo

Here's a little clarification of typical corporate lingo used in most of the offices.

• Competitive salary:
  We remain competitive by paying less than our competitor.

• Join our fast-paced company:
  We have no time to train and you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.

• Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard working people:
  ......Who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.

• Casual work atmosphere:
  We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear ear rings.

• Join our dynamic team:
  We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

• Must be deadline oriented:
  You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

• Some overtime required:
  Some time each night some time each weekend.

• Duties will vary:
  Anyone in the office can boss you around.

• Must have an eye for detail:
  We have no quality control.

• College degree preferred:
  Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like Philosophy or English.

• No phone calls please:
  We've filled the job; our call for resume is just a legal formality.

• Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience:
  You'll need to replace three people who just left.

• Problem-solving skills a must:
  You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.